It’s having a stray adult thought about someone other than your significant other. It’s entertaining the idea of Its not easy being my wifes arm candy shirt. It’s having more thoughts about other people. It’s entertaining more thoughts. Then, it becomes putting yourself in situations where you want to be inappropriate with someone else. Then, it’s verbalizing/acting on those feelings/thoughts. It might be a lingering hug…or a touch…. It might even be adding alcohol to the mix to aid with the bad decision-making. It’s becomes more physical with the other person, assuming the other is more receptive….and maybe the moment gets brushed off as accidental. Then, it stops being accidental….and now is regular. It’s new. it’s exciting. it’s thrilling. then, it’s hiding…it’s worrying…it’s lying….it’s more trouble than originally thought….it’s hurting…and soon, it’s public information. Destined to get back to the person you were hiding it all from. Relationships fall apart. Families fall apart. Trust is lost. Reputations are lost. Relationships are no longer the same as they once were. Businesses and political offices can also be damaged or marred by scandal.
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Not wanting to cheat means stopping at the Its not easy being my wifes arm candy shirt….and consistently be willing and able to see potential situations occur, and stay clear of them. I was able to piece all of this together by paying attention to other peoples’ struggles with the realities of cheating. It’s not pretty or glamorous. It’s ugly…self-serving and ultimately destructive. You don’t have to live it to know what it has to offer. I’ve never robbed a bank, but have a pretty clear idea of how it will turn out. I also doubt that anyone would believe that I ‘accidently robbed a bank.’ Again, it’s likely to be a series of bad decisions that gets progressively worse.I’d also add that cheating on one’s spouse is not simply one choice. It’s a series of choices. One does not just ‘accidently fall into bed’ with someone else.That emotional response you are talking about is more like lust, it’s an involuntary reaction. That goes away over time, although you can bring it back from time to time. Long term love however comes from a choice to love someone, and from making that person a priority in your life.