Because you don’t see it accomplishing All i ever wanted all i ever needed is here in my arms words are very unnecessary they can only do harm quote shirt. It’s supposed to be establishing trust and respect. When you hurry through it you look insecure and manipulative. We identify it as small talk because it doesn’t have substance but paying attention indicates it does have some very serious hidden codes that are flying back and forth. Each person’s typically unconscious mind is checking out the other person for validity and sincerity. They are getting a feel for who the person is and how they conduct themselves. One of the great tests for trust is, would you want to just sit back and have a beer with the person? If they can’t hold their own and be interesting, somebody’s being used. Would you take them on a picnic? If they wouldn’t relax and fit in with others, people are suspicious of them. Small talk is an important dynamic socially as to whether you are dealing with a real human being or being frisked by a salesman who wants to use you. That’s why sociopaths tend to get away with what they do. They master the art of small talk and walk people into a trap. People are schmoozing and are disarmed by the “friendly visiting.” I myself had it happen years ago when living on the streets of New York City and a guy seemed to befriend me by small talking and I ended up being robbed of the little money I had and left at the top of a tenement building in the Bowery district.
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Now as to why you don’t “feel” like doing small talk, my guess is, someone never taught you to relax, hang out and enjoy someone’s company without having a purpose or reason. You were likely expected to “earn your keep,” even at home so didn’t get to play or not do anything. That’s seen as wasteful and unproductive. Not being goal oriented and having a purpose really makes driven people insecure. They loose their identified landmarks of win-lose and have to figure out something to do. That’s why a lot of drivers need alcohol in order to get off the clock and quit doing business. Smoking by the way is another way to chemically contain emotions and stay in calculating mode. So learning how to sit and let your mind just observe what is, seems to baffle an awful lot of people these days. It’s part of what an integrated person who knows that real happiness is a state of being, not one of acquiring, owning, controlling, power, or finances. It’s taking a small time out everyday and watching the pigeons in the park just do their thing. No place to go, nothing to do. Hanging out with someone else on that park bench with you making small talk, priceless.