Unless you’re going to tell me you continued touching other random people’s hair without asking just so long as they were white? If a white friend had made the Better Joe Biden Hey Trump Youre Fired shirt, would you have brushed it off because you were so confident in your “hair should be for everyone” philosophy? I’m really hoping what happened instead is that you reconsidered the idea of touching-without-asking in general.
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If someone walked up to me and said “it’d be racist for you not to do my HW right now” I would tell them to get fucked. I’ve been in a situation much more nuanced than that that I walked away from because I felt that the Better Joe Biden Hey Trump Youre Fired shirt. The important takeaway isn’t that other people get to tell you how to behave, it is that if someone tells you that your behavior is racist and it is making them uncomfortable, you should consider that something about their experience makes them feel that way and try to engage and learn why.